Kimberly Milentis

Performance Purple Team

I am from Fort Wayne and currently work at Vera Bradley Designs in Visual Merchandising.  I enjoy any sunny day that can be spent outdoors, playtime with my nephew and nieces, interior design, hosting parties, selling Stella & Dot Jewelry, traveling to new places, and any time spent with family and friends.  My faith in Jesus and His unfailing love and grace is the anchor to my life. 


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7/2/17

Where do I even begin.......SO MUCH HAPPENED THIS WEEK!  I had a couple busy days at work in the beginning of the week that were a bit stressful, along with getting a flat tire and having to trade cars with my dad kinda threw things for a loop.  Now that I reflect, it probably was good to have my mind on something other than the half marathon that was getting closer.  Wednesdays run, my friend Jenn joined me for the final 40 minutes before the big 13.1 miles.  She had planned to run with me at the half so, we wanted to try and test out our interval timing.  I felt good about our pace and we agreed that 8 minute run and 2 minute walk would be our start for Saturdays race.  As we were running back to the Deer Ridge, all of the sudden....OUT OF NOWHERE, two of my dear friends jumped out from behind the fire station bench, screaming and cheering with pom-poms!!!!  I WAS TOTALLY TAKEN BACK...Tricia and Anne were quite the surprise for me and I loved every second.  Little did I know that Coach Ashley was aware of this surprise plan and was also planning on enjoying a surprise dinner that evening at Anne's.  I felt so loved and so spoiled and my healthy dinner, made by Chef Anne, was such a delight. How did I get so lucky to have friends like this?!! Thursday was makeover day and I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT.  Salon Renew is darling and Chelsea couldn't have been any sweeter.  I absolutely love how my hair turned out, the color is perfection and I cannot say enough nice things about how special of an afternoon that was....even watching and chatting with other contestants was a joy.  This makeover session blows me away...such a kind gesture of the Salon Renew team.  I so appreciated that the trainers allowed this week to be a little lighter on workouts.  It made me nervous thinking that I would stress out my legs too much to not be able to feel good about the race.  Having Friday as a rest day was great.  I did just that, I rested......I spent time in prayer for each contestant and the trainers and really felt Gods peace, knowing we all had been trained and have worked hard and that Saturday was going to be ONE SPECIAL DAY!

Saturday morning arrived, Jenn and Katie were on either side, ready to tackle that 13.1.  Before we started running, I made sure to take in everyone around me and notice the family members, alumni, and trainers there to support all the runners.  My heart was filled with gratitude for Coach Ashley and all her hard work to make this race day the BEST ever.  She always amazes me and I know that she could not stop beaming with happiness all day.  I am so glad that we could make this girl proud by crossing that finish line. 

3.....2.....1......RUN!  The weather was humid and I could tell that my breathing was heavier at times but I kept at the 8/2 interval, walking through water stations and staying hydrated.  My legs were holding up, I wasn't in pain and body was feeling fine and then....somewhere around mile 6 I was getting tired and I felt like I was breathing through a straw.  Katie and Jenn revaluated the intervals and decided we should slow things down and change it up.  The feeling of an elephant sitting on your chest and knowing you still have miles to go, was a bit overwhelming.  I was trying to not allow my mind to get crazy but I was feeling weak.  Katie and Jenn kept me in balance and really talked my through.  As I got on Illinois Rd for the last time, I was ready to die...I felt like that stretch went on FOREVER.  I was tired, feeling fatigued, and nauseous, didn't feel like I could get enough water, and emotions were getting the best of me.  I started to get mad at myself for thinking I was strong enough to finish 13.1 because I wanted to just quit.  I was getting closer to the water station with all my cheerleaders and began to cry knowing that they were all there for me because they believe in me and wanted this to be a special time.  They took time to cheer me on and encourage me on this journey and I didn't want to let them down, but I was so tired.  It was getting really hard!  Jenn and Katie's patience and encouragement made me push to the end.  When I had gotten to Sonrise Church, I knew that regardless of what was happening with my body, I was going to hit the gas pedal and give EVERY LAST BIT of fuel in my body and if I died at the blue finish line, then so be it.:)  As I started to get geared up to give it my all, I saw my sister, mom, dad, and niece....waving me on and then start to jog with me.  When I saw their faces I knew it was time.... I HAD to finish as strong as possible and I am so happy that I ran as fast as I could.  I LOVE THAT FEELING!  Hitting that blue pad was honestly the best feeling, I was happy, I was sad, I was tired, I was overwhelmed. Having my friends and family and FWSW family surround me with hugs, tears, love, and more love was overwhelming.  I never knew how much support and encouragement I would need to get this 13.1 accomplished.  Coach Ashley met me with my medal and oh, the tears were flowing.  That girl has been with me since day one and having her place that medal around my neck was so special!  I will FOREVER remember this day!  I am so glad to have had just a moment with both Rick and Tina before leaving.  Even feeling a bit out of sorts, I still wanted each of them to know how I am overwhelmed they chose me and believed in me......and each of the other contestants.  Rick Walters + Tina Walters = angels walking this earth

As we enter into the very last week of season 10, I AM READY!  I am ready to finish the week, embracing the last workouts and enjoying EVERY moment.  This experience has made me a better human being.  I want the audience on Saturday to not just see a slimmer Kimberly but a person who is glowing inside out.  The changes in my eating and exercise habits are what I worked hard for but it was the blessing of my heart and mind strengthening and growing along the way.  Saturday will be my new beginning and a reminder to keep striving to be the best that God intended me to be.

ONE MORE THING: The photos and videos from this week, I have probably viewed over 100 times.  Lennart and Michael, are the best!!!!  I literally HATED having the camera around at the beginning of the season, but here I am LOVING to see the amazing differences in all of us as well as the footage that I will forever have.  The candid moment are priceless!!!!!

 

6/25/17

I felt so spoiled in so many ways this week. Starting off with Monday night, being treated to an amazing meal at Eddie Merlot's.  Wow!  The time, effort and art that the chef put into making each of our courses was so amazing!  The fish and the dessert were by far my favorite!  I really had hoped there would be to-go cups for any extra desserts.  Of course, seeing all of the FWSW family in normal clothes, looking so nice, was such a treat!  Rick and Tina, you sure know how to make us contestants feel special and loved.  Lennart and Mike took some amazing photos and footage of the evening and I keep finding myself looking over the photos again and again.  Everyone looks so much happier and fresher than 13 weeks ago, it is really incredible!  I am so grateful that Shawn stepped in with a Toast to Rick and Tina.  You two are life savers and life changers!  I will forever be grateful that you chose me to become a part of your FWSW family.

Wednesday evening my dad joined me again for our 60 minute run.  As a family we had all been to a memorial service in the morning for my sister in laws dad.  This death was not a surprise but of course always hard to see loved ones hurt with the passing of someone so dear.  Having my dad with me to support and encourage spoke volumes at how each day is a gift, time is precious and should never be taken for granted.  I LOVED the pictures that Tina captured of my dad running with me side by side.....my dad will be the first to boast about his children but I must say I am proud of my dad.  I am spoiled to have his desire to get into better shape to support me.

Friday I had a massage in the afternoon that I had really been looking forward to.  It was a yucky, rainy day so having this on my schedule was just what I needed.  After my therapist was finished with the massage she remarked several times how much of a change she saw and felt in my body.  She said that she could feel my muscles and could tell they had strengthened so much over the course of the past 13 weeks.  She was really impressed and encouraged me to keep at it.  While I have noticed changes and am feeling stronger, having someone who is pretty much a stranger comment and encourage made me feel proud of how hard I have worked.

Saturday we were completely spoiled with beautiful weather for our morning run.  I didn't run a whole lot at the Deer Ridge because I wanted to save myself for the Hero 5k.  Katelyn spent the whole time with me and I so enjoy her sweet spirit and heart. Knowing that both her and Michaela have a HUGE competition July 8 but they still manage to pour themselves into each of us is so encouraging.  Their strength and love is so admirable.  When I got to the Run like a Hero, I was PUMPED!  I actually was excited to be there and get started.  I was able to run about 90% of the time - all by myself.  I pushed through but it didn't seem as hard as usual.  I wanted to keep running because I kept thinking about the half marathon.  Ashley met me towards the end and she was so proud of me.  She was proud of my form and that I didn't seem sluggish and I was pushing through.  I picked up my legs and tried to get a bigger stride to beat Robert at the finish line but it didn't work.....maybe next week :)  While my time may not have been better than German Fest, I was proud of myself because I basically did it on my own and didn't get weary.  I was hyped after crossing the finish line and I felt like I even had more fuel in me.  Again, fwsw contestants are SPOILED with the GREATEST trainers....I know if I didn't have their guidance, and belief in me, I wouldn't be where I am today.

The thought of the last weigh-ins being blind gives me so much anxiety!  I am sooooooooooo close to getting that 50 pounds and not knowing is going to be a real test!!!!  My nurtrionists have guided me up to this point so I know what I need to do food wise, I just need to keep at it and go back to what has been drilled into us from the very beginning......TRUST THE PROCESS.  If I put my all into workouts and eat properly, there shouldn't be any problem reaching that goal.  Eeeeek.....still so nervous!

Here we go, week 14...ready or not, here I come!

 

6/18/17

Week 12 is in the books and I am feeling good!  SO GOOD!  I started out the week feeling very frustrated with only have lost 1.4 pounds.  I wanted to reach that 40 pound loss on Monday and I didn't.  I was very upset and discouraged!  My nutrition has not been a hard thing for me to monitor and Stephanie and Colleen have given many helpful tips and also have said my consistency with calories, fruits and veggies have been good so, my mind was boggled by what I could have done better.  The only thing that kept repeating in my mind was my silly hip flexer issue that didn't allow me to push harder in workouts, not being able to do the 9 miles or participate in extra credit and challenges. After getting off the scale, I just was mad.   Just plain mad at myself.  I wasn't mad at anyone else except for me.  I hated feeling like with 4 weeks left I was losing my endurance and strength.  It did take me a few days to get "over it" and I realize that having the attitude of anger towards myself only makes things worse.  Coach Ashley kept referring to me as "negative Nancy" and YES, she was right.  Nancy was my name and now that I reflect on that,  I can totally see how that affected my thoughts overall...on people, work, family, and life.  Its friends like Ashley that know me good enough and love me enough to tell me how it is and to call me out on it.  While I laugh about it now, at the time I couldn't shake that funk because once again I was allowing my mind to speak negative.

I am happy to report that my leg issues have not been a problem this week.  I have no pain and was able to complete the 10.5 miles yesterday.  My sweet friend, Brittany, decided to join me again and I AM SO GLAD SHE DID!  I wanted to collapse at around mile 8 ish.  I was tired.  I was hot.  My hips were hurting.  My feet were tired.  BUT WE DID IT!  I didn't run a lot but did try and run enough to keep a good pace and while the last mile, I had hoped to finish strong by running, I could only walk it in.  Brittany kept my spirits up and having a partner is such a big push.  After finishing, I was afraid to even sit down in case I couldn't get back up.  I loved seeing everyone tired, worn out, and exhausted....we all worked hard!  Some are faster than others and some have a better pace and stamina but in the end we were all there because we persevered and allowed ourselves to push harder than ever before.  I keep thinking of the Trainers and their positivity and their time in spending with everyone on the course.  Dick was so helpful and encouraging with the first group.  I appreciate his heart and his passion.  Mari, Cece, Katelyn, Tina, and Ashley are Superwomen in my book!  They work hard, sweat hard, and push hard on the course....always with a positive word, smile, and just their upbeat energy.  It truly is a mental push for me when I see them running/walking with others and talking and encouraging.  That attention is really a special thing when there are so many things to going on and so many people to take care of.

Once again, I feel so good!  I am happy about how far I have come from week 1.  I respect and admire all of the FWSW family and am completely honored to be a part of it.  My mind, heart, and body have been stretched and strengthened in crazy ways that only God can do.  I have never worked as hard on my physical body as I have the last 12 weeks and I never knew what an amazing reward it would be to not only physically see the results but also wholeheartedly know that my body is Gods temple and I can be living proof of what honoring Him with a clean and healthy lifestyle should be. 

ONE MORE THING!  I am sooooooooooooo EXCITED about tomorrow evening.  I can't wait to enjoy a nice dinner with everyone.  I look forward to being together, sweat free, water bottle free, and white towel free.  THANK YOU Rick and Tina for including this special treat into our program! 

6/11/17

My most favorite part about week 11 was the feeling I got running over the finish line at the German Fest 5k.  I absolutely LOVED that hype of running hard over the blue pads!   And, the feeling of that accomplishment is such a high!  Yes, I know it was only 3.2 miles but I think I was 6-7 minutes faster then when I had done the first 5k.  I had even walked most of the time so, I was pumped.  My pace said 14 min and that was so exciting to me!  A big shout out to my friend Paul for hanging with me the whole time. He did push and encourage me the each step of the way.  CeCe was there right when I started to run towards that finish line,  she didn't want me to hurt myself running hard but did encourage me to give it all I had to get to that finish line.  Talking to other teammates and watching others complete made my heart overwhelmed with pride and happiness that WE DID IT!  Tina said it perfectly..."that high cannot be bought".  It is like no other and such a proud moment.  I look at all my FWSW family with such amazement!  Each one of us are different, we all have our battles, we all have defeats and victories but nothing outweighs the PERSEVERANCE that I see and am encouraged with when we are continuing to fight for what we want. 

I wasn't able to do the 9 miles on Saturday due to my right leg issues and I was more than bummed not to have been able to participate in the Vision Walk. After meeting with Andreas and finishing my own circuit workout, I was able to get composure from my sadness and frustration to really reflect on the positive.  I am grateful for the care and safety concern of Tina, Mari, CeCe, and Andreas.  While it is hard to stomach that I had to be pulled away from the group because of this "injury", I know and believe God consistently proves himself no matter what circumstance.  I just have to trust. I JUST HAVE TO TRUST!  I cannot say my attitude is quite yet at 100% but I am praying that this setback will be short and get me back out there ready to hit the pavement for the half marathon.....in THREE WEEKS!!!!! yikes! 

My goal this week was to lose at least 4 pounds because I really want to hit that 40# loss.  My nutrition has been decent, I do need to keep more of an effort to keep my carbs down but overall the food intake has been fine.  I know with my injury I didn't get to push as hard as my head wanted me to in workouts soooooooo, who knows what that scale will read. 

One more thing:  Prayer time each day, after workout, is such a humbling reminder that it's not just all about ME, about my failures and victories. Thank you, Rick and Tina for having this be a part of the FWSW program.  I need to hear others needs, hurts, and victories. Throughout the week I find myself thinking about certain requests that were mentioned and I know that is Gods gentle touch on my heart to remember them with prayer.  I BELIEVE prayer changes things and also changes hearts! 

6/2/17

EEEEEEK!  It is Friday and week 10 is almost over!!!!....I am freaking out a little bit.  I really - REALLY - REALLY want to hit that 50 pound loss by the time this season ends.  My personal goal is to lose 100 pounds total so, I am not looking at this boot camp as an end, but the beginning of my own personal fitness challenge.  I can confidently say that if the season was to end tomorrow, I have been taught, trained, encouraged, and strengthened to know how to continue living this healthy lifestyle for my next 50 pound loss AND the rest of my life.  The fitness training has been so incredible and I have found enjoyment in a lot of different exercises that I never thought I would.  Each Trainer brings their own twist and personality when teaching and I so appreciate them sharing their talents so passionately. 

Tomorrow is the 8 mile run.  Although I am restricted to fast walking, I am looking forward to accomplishing this mileage.  I have had some anxiety thinking about it this week, but I know that "if it doesn't challenge me - it won't change me".  This past Wednesday, Tina had me observe my pace and I was pleasantly surprised at how fast I actually could walk.  Both Tina and Ashley agreed that it was an excellent pace and faster than I typically jog so, I was super happy about that small victory.  I can't guarantee Saturday will be the same pace but I am determined to keep my mind focused and to remember Tina's voice playing over and over. 

I am hoping that week 11 I can start back up with extra credit in the morning.  Walking around the gym, watching everyone push themselves before our team workout in the mornings made me envious.  I enjoy Ricks training and I don't want to miss out on any extra time.  Little did I know, even 6 weeks ago, that I would EVER feel that way.  God definitely has a sense of humor and sometime I wonder if he is playing tricks on me. wink

 

5/27/17

Week 9 was an odd workout week for me.  I felt like my focus was all about navigating through my right leg issues.  I had to do my run/walk Monday and Wednesday in the pool as well as get a 2nd workout in doing laps Tuesday evening.  Although I had not been too happy about being in the pool at first, I was completely blessed by my time spent with our small pool group.  Tamika, April, Christian, Kimberly, and Bill brought so much positivity and I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know them a little bit more.  It is amazing to me how different each of us are but how well we mesh and keep pushing each other.  My heart was reminded that everything happens for a reason and whether I knew it or not, I needed those uplifting conversations.

I was SO grateful to get news from PT that I could get back to joining the group Saturday for the 5 mile walk/run.  I have been on top of getting my stretches and leg exercises done at home so that my recovery would be quick.  Friday morning, towards the end of workout, I was starting to get the tightness back in my thigh and was real worried that I wouldn't be able to do the 5 mile so, I had to slow it down a bit.  Thankfully, I made it through todays 5 miles, walking fast.  I really wanted to be faster and almost started to jog just to get closer to the group but reminded myself to "trust the process" and not overdue it.  My goal is to be just as fast as Latoya next Wednesday....that girl amazed me! Also, a shout out to my sweet friend, Anne, who power walked the whole way through with me.  Thankful for her and the great support she is!

Overall, I feel like this was an off week, I still ate like I should but because I had to change up the workouts and not do extra credit, I am worried what the scale will read.  The thought of Monday weigh in's always give me anxiety. I don't think I will ever get used to the fact of standing in front of people on a scale, with my weight being read aloud.  What I am most looking forward to is seeing how everyone else did.  It is so obvious how hard some people work and I love to hear what they have dropped, it makes me super proud to be their "FWSW sister".

 

5/21/17

My dear friend and Coach, Ashley emails me a verse each week to get me ready and encouraged to embrace another week of FWSW.  Little did I know that week 8's verse would be so on point! 

James 1:2-3 Consider it pure joy, brother and sisters, when you face trials of many kinds because you know the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

Each week seems to go faster and faster!  I started this week so confident that it was going to be one of the very BEST with lots of HARD work and focused dedication. Monday was a good start with my morning run on my own and a decent weigh in.  I was determined that this week I would lose 4 pounds so that I could welcome week 9 at a loss of 30 pounds. I thoroughly enjoyed our nutrition class.  It is such good information and very helpful reminders as I continue to make wise eating choices.  I love the open forum when we all can discuss our habits, thought processes, struggles, and victories.  The vulnerability is such an encouragement hearing from other contestants.  This program continues to bless me in so many ways!

While I was confident in this week, I experienced some hurdles (minor "trials") that are trying to get my mind to lose focus.  My plan was to continue with extra credit all week and to get my Jacob Ladder challenge in early so that I could get that leg strength for the 7 mile run on Saturday.  Well, Tuesday I overslept and I was soooooooo mad at myself. I hurried to get to workout and tried to get as hard of a workout in, in the amount of time there was left.  I was so frustrated that I had lost time with the group and the extra credit (trial #1).  So, I was determined to get back to the gym Tuesday evening and get my challenge in and do some more cardio exercise to try and make up for being late Tuesday morning. 

OH MY! OH MY! Jacobs Ladder was hard!!!  Joy was such a HUGE help just sticking by me while I was trying to get used to the machine.  I had to take several short breaks to get my breath, I felt like I was sweating buckets and hated having my backend out and so visible. But, I could totally tell it seemed to work every muscle in my body and I LOVE that feeling!  I was actually looking forward to getting the 2nd challenge in so that I could see how my time would be better.  I finished another 40 minutes of elliptical and stair stepper.  I was so happy that my 2nd workout was finished out strong! 

Wednesday morning was circuits celebrating CeCe's bday.  It was constant and it was difficult incorporating burpees and high knee stair steppers.  I was definitely tired at the end!  Wednesday night was the 5/5 for 50 minutes run.  I was mentally ready to complete the full walk/run and was encouraged and excited my dad would be joining me again.  He impresses me so much with wanting to be by my side and push himself.  It was more challenging than I had imagined, my legs just seemed so tired but I tried to keep them moving and not stop.  So grateful for Tina and her chats, her heart, her enthusiasm, and encouragement.  Thankfully my dad and I were able to finish together.  His support means the world to me.

Waking up to Thursday, pool day, was a bit of a relief.  My legs were really sore and achy.  Pool days are definitely a workout because I feel them every week but just knowing that I wouldn't be sweating and having so much pressure on my knees was the relief.  During our workout, my right leg was hurting from my thigh all the way down to my ankle.  I just kept working through thinking it was tired and probably needed stretched so I tried to forget about it. Well, unfortunately, when I got to work I couldn't forget about the pain.  Most of my day was sitting at my desk and sitting was making my leg just throb.  I had a couple coworkers show me stretches and the stretches were very painful !  I scheduled an appt. for PT at 7am on Friday. I had REALLY wanted to get my 2nd challenge in Thursday evening but was recommended to wait till after my appt (trial #2).  So, for my 2nd workout I used the pool.  Thanks to Ryan, Tamika and April for showing me some new ways to get a good workout.  My sweet friend, Janielle, joined me for the pool workout so it made the evening more fun.  I still felt a bit of a pain on my right leg due to the resistance of the water but tried to focus more on my arms then getting discouraged about my leg.  When I left the gym in the evening, I was driving home thinking about what the outcome of PT would be and all of a sudden I noticed a Rainbow in the sky.....I immediately felt humbled that God uses these signs to redirect my thoughts to Him.  He knew just what I needed!

Friday morning , I showed up for extra credit but was recommended to do bike or walk because they were going to do sleds and I shouldn't put that pressure on my leg until I get my PT assessment (trial #3).  The morning workout was switched up a bit from the usual we did things that we hadn't done before and I was really feeling pressure on my leg.  I was trying to balance my thoughts between still pushing through the uncomfortableness but also thinking that I wanted to save my leg for the 7 miles on Saturday.  I was defeated that I didn't push myself 100% through the workout because I had high hopes that PT would recommend stretching better/harder and still be able to accomplish the 7 miles.  Well, I was wrong!  PT said that my IT band was cause of the pain and that there were knots that needed scraped out which meant that I should NOT run Saturday or next Monday because my legs should not have the pressure (trial #4).  My mind started getting the best of me after hearing what I could not do with the rest of my FWSW family. I was bummed, discouraged and just so frustrated that I allowed myself to be so confident in week 8 and then all of a sudden it seems to be ONE BIG DISSAPPOINTMENT! 

My attitude Saturday was not good.  I was frustrated that I couldn't accomplish 7 miles and keep the momentum with the rest of my "family".  I was mad at myself, thinking maybe I shouldn't have said anything about my leg and just keep moving and try and forget about the pain.  I didn't want to be in the pool.  I SO enjoyed having time with April, Tamika, and Kimberly and we did work hard.  These ladies totally helped bring happiness to my heart BUT I was still envious of that harsh feeling of tiredness, sweat, and aches when I am done with a run (trial #5).  (Never thought I would EVER say that)  Although running doesn't seem to come naturally to me and I am ALWAYS anxious beforehand, I do LOVE the accomplished feeling that I get when I am done.  And, I totally think it helps with the scale on Monday!                                I am just now realizing that I am starting to type a novel so, to close this up....

I know in my heart that these 5 "trials" are SO minor, not life threatening, and in the scope of life itself and others who are badly hurt are really no big deal.  But, when I look at my FWSW journey, these are the things that I can easily see my "old self" wanting to creep back in. I am doing the stretching that PT is suggesting.  I am trying to be mindful of higher protein and lower carbs when eating.  I am trying to workout other parts of my body then just my legs. But, in my mind I start to feel like I am by myself and the excitement, push, and encouragement that I would get from everyone else starts to get cloudy.  I don't want these thoughts!  I am praying that God will use week 8 as my reminder to put full confidence in HIM.  Because obviously, my faith is being tested and I need to choose joy because these hurdles could be SO MUCH WORSE.  These hurdles are part of producing perseverance.  Who knows what the scale will say tomorrow - I may or may not hit the 4 pounds that I had imagined for week 9 but what I do know is that I cant let my mind get the best of me.  I MUST persevere and "trust the process".

My life would not be the same without Gods word, His promises, and the people He had placed in my life. 

5/11/17

It's Thursday and I am SO sore!  My legs, arms and core are getting worked and although I am uncomfortable, I am so happy to feel my workouts!   I decided to participate in extra credit this week, which is an additional 25 minutes of workout before our full morning session.  I was a little timid about it because my thought was to save all my energy for the full workout and be able to give my 100%, but then I remembered all the encouragement that the trainers talk about on pushing yourself to the next level.  And.... being half way to the end of Season 10 is kinda scary - I want to make sure I embrace every opportunity that Rick and Tina provide.  I will say extra credit did work my body over.  I really like that we were using so many different muscles in our body.  I thought sleds were hard but then on "zoo day" I was not only embarrassed that I was so slow, but also just very uncomfortable because I could hardly do some of the "creatures/animals".  My upper body strength is totally lacking and when my legs get tired I can hardly get them to move. Even though I hated being out in the middle with everyone waiting and watching, afterward I was completely impressed with Ricks approach of being patient and pushing me to try and finish strong.  The crazy thing is, after being humbled and pushed in extra credit, I didn't feel defeated.  I felt ready to tackle CeCe's workout.

Right now, it is very difficult to do Triceps on the bleachers, my positioning is off, and my strength is minimal.  Push ups on the bleachers are difficult as well.  Rick took a moment to show me the correct form which was very helpful but still so hard, I would much rather do them on a flat surface.  I am still trying to tackle Planks,  I can do them and I love that it is working my core but my body gets so tired and shaky that they can be hard to finish out.  Wall sits continue to be a challenge.  My upper legs get so tight and start to really hurt and YES, I know that it is supposed to hurt.  I am completely impressed at how others can do a wall sit like no big deal....I am determined to get there.  CeCe is right that your mind is what holds you back and my goal is to get in the zone and focus on something other than being uncomfortable.  Stairs continue to scare me because I know that doing only 4 will get me completely breathless and slow everyone down behind me.  I love Tina's enthusiasm but these are killer and I honestly don't know if I will ever be a party train lover.  Soooooooooooo, this is where I am at in some of the workouts.  And, I am reminded with two people's voices in my head:

CeCe: "If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you.  If it was easy, everybody would be doing it."

Rick: "Trust the process."

 

5/7/17

This 6th week went by SO FAST!  I was VERY discouraged by my 1.2 loss on Monday but quickly recovered my frustration with remembering what the past couple weeks taught me. Think on "what is true" and "be present in the here and now".  While I hadn't changed my eating habits and I knew that I was getting stronger, the scale delivered bad news that totally tested my "mind struggles".  I know that I am losing inches and creating stronger muscle and I AM proud of it.  I am beyond grateful for the challenge at our morning workouts.  The push and intensity is what a bootcamp should be and I want to give all that I can. 

Wednesday evening walk/run had my heart bursting with love and gratefulness.  First, we could do the walk/run outdoors.  I love being able to take in fresh air and I know the different scenery helps push me further physically.  Second, my sweet friend, Amanda, (who I don't see too often) surprised me to come and show support.  She really did help encourage me to complete each 4 minute jog without stopping.  That was a small victory for me and I am grateful that while my pace is very slow, and Amanda's legs are long smile, that she kept with me and cheered me on.  Finally, having my Dad and sister take time to share their support by doing the full walk/run (without stopping) meant the world to me!!!  I was so proud to have them experience a part of my weekly training.  My family are my prayer warriors and believe so much in me.  So, having them present,  helped my mind to be clear of anxiety and negative thoughts and to push through each jog interval.  Neither my dad or sister work out consistently so watching them complete the full walk/run not only surprised me but I knew they pushed themselves so they could understand what my FWSW journey is all about. God always knows just what we need and this past Wednesday evening was one of those moments that proved how HE continues to hold my hand each step of the way.

I am looking forward to week 7 and hitting our halfway mark of this program.  My prayer is that my heart and head will be fully in sync to make it the BEST week.  Who knows how nice the scale will read tomorrow night but a quote I recently was challenged with is this....."It takes courage not to be discouraged." So, regardless of the # loss, I choose not to be discouraged but to continue to push in the hardest way, to thank God for each small victory, and to finish FWSW proud and with no regrets.

 

4/28/17

We are 1/3 of our way into this season and I am feeling and seeing progress.  It is so rewarding to physically feel good (and sore) after working so hard during morning workouts, running, challenges, and second workouts.  I never knew I could sweat so much...thank goodness this isn't a beauty contest because I look like a drowned rat EVERY time I workout.  While I had hoped that week 5 would be better than week 4 mentally, I struggled even more.  I wrestled with too many thoughts and emotions and still am trying to sort things out.  My mind struggles with thinking on "what is true" and being present in the "here and now".  What is true: I get up at 4:45 every morning, get to gym early to walk then workout hard, put in a 8 hour work day, get a second workout in at night and do my best to get to bed early enough to start back all over the next day.  I put my 100% in at workouts, I am disciplined to schedule my day with nutrition and good rest.  I am seeing results with a 17 pound weight loss and more physical energy overall. While this may all be true and, to me, seem like such a positive change and a lot to plan for each day, my mind starts to let anxiety set in.  I allow situations or experiences to dictate what I do not even know to be true.....like, if todays workout was tough, then tomorrow there is no way I will make it through....if I can't do this plank long enough, I am a failure.....if I feel nauseous, the trainers will think I am a baby.....if I don't do the full 3 minute run, I am not working hard enough.....AND, don't get too excited about your personal progress because other people are stronger than you.  So, those are some of the candid thoughts that I know to be UNTRUE and unfair to myself!  As for the Here and Now....it is small victories that I know I must hold tight to in order to overcome anxious thoughts.  I am counting my 5 pound loss for three weeks straight as a victory, I was complimented by a trainer on my form and progress, I was able to get a second workout in, I chose to eat healthy when others around me were not, I did the stair climber challenge 10 minutes faster than the first time, my jogging is starting to last longer, etc...  I am realizing that these small victories are what this FWSW process is all about. 

 

4/23/17

This 4th week seemed a little odd from the weeks prior.  Although, I did give my 100% in morning workouts and still felt the "good" muscle soreness after, I don't think that the trainers were happy with our group so that made it hard to be confident in my ability.  It made me wonder if my mind was working harder than my body.  I was tired this week even though I kept a strict sleeping schedule and my food intake didn't change.  Me finding the balance between listening to my body and "pushing harder" is what I am trying to figure out.  It is evident that I am already pushing myself but I am not sure if it is enough.  So, I am praying that God gives me extra strength today for the 5k and for week 5.  I don't want this odd week to be a stumbling block for the victory at the end. 

Isaiah 40:31...but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

 

4/18/17

My weigh in last night read a 5 pound loss.  I was so surprised by that number!  I knew I had worked hard and ate properly but I just assumed it would be lower.  I am beyond thrilled with the thought of losing 15 pounds in 3 weeks.  It proved to me that pushing myself and being consistent on my food plan will pay off.  I understand next Monday could read less than 5 but I am going to try will all my might to get a higher loss than 5.  I can already tell after todays workout that the level of intensity will be increasing so, I am a little nervous and intimidated but I am in this 100% and want to keep getting strengthend so that I can continue to push myself.  A BIG SHOUT OUT to my family, all my sweet friends, and coworkers who cheer me on each day and listen to what my workout highs and lows are.  My heart is bursting with their love and kindness!

 

4/16/17

I am closing the 3rd week out of this journey with a thankful heart.  I was shown so much support by my family and friends this week.  God outdid himself when He placed me in my family and blessed me with so many special friends!  With this week being my birthday, I was a bit nervous to know how I would handle the celebrations.  I love parties and think that every moment of a celebration should be the very best so I had a bit of a hesistant heart when my special day was approaching because I knew there would not be the typical sweets and endless indulgences.   My awesome coworkers surprised with a nutritious lunch that they approved with Coach Ashley.  My dear friend Robin even took pictures of the nutrition labels just so that I could record my intake properly....now that is what I call S U P P O R T!  My coworkers cheerleading and vote of confidence in me is so encouraging!  I received a lovely bracelet that is purple (for my team color) and gold with a "you got this" quote from my friend Amy who is continues to be a sweet support.  My longtime friend Janielle, hosted a super cute celebration dinner for me.  The menu was so yummy and ALL nutritious.  My girlfriends enjoyed the dinner just as much as me and we spent our evening in the hottub under the stars....the weather and company was perfection!  This birthday was a great one and I feel blessed.  Turning 29 again just gets better and better!wink

Easter Sunday I hosted my family for lunch.  While not everything on the menu I could eat,  I found it easy to not be tempted and felt just as satisfied without the typical "wants".  My family knows that I am being mindful and they want me to succeed so there wasn't any talk on what "Kim couldnt eat", it was all about encouragement and discussion on the changes that FWSW has already made in my every day food decisions.  My parents are proud of my changes, my courage, and my discipline to create a better life for myself.  It's amazing how when I type this blog and reflect on things, I am overwhlemed with how God continue to show himself holding my hand each step of the way.  Tomorrow is MONDAY....which means another weigh in.  I don't know if it will be a good or bad loss but what I do know to be true is I worked hard this week, I ate well, my nutritionist has been happy with my food plan, I started to do 2nd workouts and I attempted jogging so, regardless of what that scale reads, I am going to be proud that this week is behind me and week 4 is going to be the best yet!

 

4/13/17

Pool day is always a tough workout for me because I feel like I am trying to stay afloat no matter what the exercise.  I hate being so slow and feeling like I am getting our team behind.  Josh and Mari had us really working hard.  I admire their enthusiasm and their confidence in us, they give the perfect amount of "push" and encouragement. 

 

4/11/17

Today's workout was full of mixed emotions.  I had no idea when I arrived in the morning what was about to happen...we were introduced to sled and stairs.  After I pushed my first sled, my heart was pounding so hard that I thought it was going to come out of my body.  I felt nauseous but was trying to talk myself out of it.  I didn't want to puke and thought I could overcome the feeling.  A couple more sleds into it and then my team rushed to the next circuit of stairs.  My body kept telling me to slow down but I didn't want to fail or get behind, so I just kept ignoring it until Tina pulled to the side and asked if I was ok.  The moment I started to talk I was overwhelmed with emotion, feeling sick, and very shaky.  I had never had this feeling before.  I was able to walk off the shakiness and some of the nausea that my body had and thankfully, Kaitlyn was kind to listen, encourage, and console.  I finished the last 5 minutes of the workout that everyone else had been doing and tried my hardest to hold in the tears.  Tina chatted with me about changing up my food in the morning before workouts as well as giving me a pep talk.  It's hard to remember anything she said because I was fighting back tears.  I felt like a failure and my mind was getting the best of me.  I stood trying to calm myself down while Lori gave encouraging words but all my mind was saying was "you didn't make it through" - "you should have eaten differently" -" this is horrible, are you sure you can do this" - "how embarrassing to walk off and not be able to complete the first workout of week 3."  All these thoughts rushed around in my mind over and over.  Once I was able to stabilize my thoughts, I texted my Mom, sister, and dear friend/coach Ashley letting them know what I had just experienced.  Their responses were, as always, helpful, encouraging, and inspiring but I still was feeling like a completed failure and full of embarrassment.  It wasn't until I got to work and was "counseled" by my most amazing and supportive coworkers that a light went on inside my head that brought me back to my first weigh in and how I felt....it was a feeling I never will forget (and still get a bit of a stomach ache just thinking about it).  It was overwhelming, scary, humbling, and I really wanted to just leave, but.....I STAYED.  And, here I am today thinking about my horrible morning where my thoughts were getting the best of me, but again.....I STAYED...and finished the workout.  This reminder is powerful to me because it is so hard to be vulnerable and to "fail" but my reaction overruled those feelings and I see my strength and this mornings hurdle is NOT going to get the best of me.  I am in this!  I want to make Rick and Tina proud, I want to make Team Purple proud, I want to make Coach Ashley proud, and more than anything I want this for myself.  If God allowed me to be a part of this program, He will see me through even when my self-centered thoughts try to creep in.

 

 4/6/17

Pool day is a really hard workout for me. I feel like being short in height, that the water resistance is extra hard and is triple the workout. I feel myself pushing through and I am thankful for my teammates encouragement and patience.   My legs and arms feel sore but a GOOD sore.  The energy of the trainers is so awesome and definitely makes me want to work harder.   I love that they push and believe in each of us.  As I think toward the weeks to come I can only imagine how much tougher the workouts will get but I am ready to keep at it.  Signing off todays workout with a sore body and a grateful and encouraged heart!

 

4/3/17

The scale tonight read 5 pounds less than last week. I am proud of that number and am proud to be a part of FWSW family!

 

4/2/17

As I anticipate my first weigh in this week, I can't help but be grateful for what week 1 of bootcamp gave me......my energy level, physically, was the most obvious and I attribute most of that to getting ample amounts of sleep at night. wink   I feel empowered each morning when I wake up before 5 to "hit it hard, because today starts the rest of your life."  Mentally and Spiritually I am energized to look at each day as an opportunity to better myself for what matters most in life.  I want that scale to make me proud of the hard work that I did but I will also hold tight to how 1 week in and I am feeling so good, so happy, so positive, so strengthened, and so blessed! Bring on the 14 more weeks!!!!!!!!!!cool

 

3/27/17

Tonight is a night I will never forget. The moment I had to weigh myself in front of so many people was so horrible. It took everything in me not to just walk right out of the room once I got off the scale. I got back to my seat and had to keep telling myself..."its ok, this is where change begins, its ok, hold it together, its ok, Gods got you, its ok, you can do this" I just wanted to break down and cry. This is not going to be easy...but I want this so bad and I will fight for it!