Kimberly Milentis

Performance Purple Team

I am from Fort Wayne and currently work at Vera Bradley Designs in Visual Merchandising.  I enjoy any sunny day that can be spent outdoors, playtime with my nephew and nieces, interior design, hosting parties, selling Stella & Dot Jewelry, traveling to new places, and any time spent with family and friends.  My faith in Jesus and His unfailing love and grace is the anchor to my life. 


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5/21/17

My dear friend and Coach, Ashley emails me a verse each week to get me ready and encouraged to embrace another week of FWSW.  Little did I know that week 8's verse would be so on point! 

James 1:2-3 Consider it pure joy, brother and sisters, when you face trials of many kinds because you know the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

Each week seems to go faster and faster!  I started this week so confident that it was going to be one of the very BEST with lots of HARD work and focused dedication. Monday was a good start with my morning run on my own and a decent weigh in.  I was determined that this week I would lose 4 pounds so that I could welcome week 9 at a loss of 30 pounds. I thoroughly enjoyed our nutrition class.  It is such good information and very helpful reminders as I continue to make wise eating choices.  I love the open forum when we all can discuss our habits, thought processes, struggles, and victories.  The vulnerability is such an encouragement hearing from other contestants.  This program continues to bless me in so many ways!

While I was confident in this week, I experienced some hurdles (minor "trials") that are trying to get my mind to lose focus.  My plan was to continue with extra credit all week and to get my Jacob Ladder challenge in early so that I could get that leg strength for the 7 mile run on Saturday.  Well, Tuesday I overslept and I was soooooooo mad at myself. I hurried to get to workout and tried to get as hard of a workout in, in the amount of time there was left.  I was so frustrated that I had lost time with the group and the extra credit (trial #1).  So, I was determined to get back to the gym Tuesday evening and get my challenge in and do some more cardio exercise to try and make up for being late Tuesday morning. 

OH MY! OH MY! Jacobs Ladder was hard!!!  Joy was such a HUGE help just sticking by me while I was trying to get used to the machine.  I had to take several short breaks to get my breath, I felt like I was sweating buckets and hated having my backend out and so visible. But, I could totally tell it seemed to work every muscle in my body and I LOVE that feeling!  I was actually looking forward to getting the 2nd challenge in so that I could see how my time would be better.  I finished another 40 minutes of elliptical and stair stepper.  I was so happy that my 2nd workout was finished out strong! 

Wednesday morning was circuits celebrating CeCe's bday.  It was constant and it was difficult incorporating burpees and high knee stair steppers.  I was definitely tired at the end!  Wednesday night was the 5/5 for 50 minutes run.  I was mentally ready to complete the full walk/run and was encouraged and excited my dad would be joining me again.  He impresses me so much with wanting to be by my side and push himself.  It was more challenging than I had imagined, my legs just seemed so tired but I tried to keep them moving and not stop.  So grateful for Tina and her chats, her heart, her enthusiasm, and encouragement.  Thankfully my dad and I were able to finish together.  His support means the world to me.

Waking up to Thursday, pool day, was a bit of a relief.  My legs were really sore and achy.  Pool days are definitely a workout because I feel them every week but just knowing that I wouldn't be sweating and having so much pressure on my knees was the relief.  During our workout, my right leg was hurting from my thigh all the way down to my ankle.  I just kept working through thinking it was tired and probably needed stretched so I tried to forget about it. Well, unfortunately, when I got to work I couldn't forget about the pain.  Most of my day was sitting at my desk and sitting was making my leg just throb.  I had a couple coworkers show me stretches and the stretches were very painful !  I scheduled an appt. for PT at 7am on Friday. I had REALLY wanted to get my 2nd challenge in Thursday evening but was recommended to wait till after my appt (trial #2).  So, for my 2nd workout I used the pool.  Thanks to Ryan, Tamika and April for showing me some new ways to get a good workout.  My sweet friend, Janielle, joined me for the pool workout so it made the evening more fun.  I still felt a bit of a pain on my right leg due to the resistance of the water but tried to focus more on my arms then getting discouraged about my leg.  When I left the gym in the evening, I was driving home thinking about what the outcome of PT would be and all of a sudden I noticed a Rainbow in the sky.....I immediately felt humbled that God uses these signs to redirect my thoughts to Him.  He knew just what I needed!

Friday morning , I showed up for extra credit but was recommended to do bike or walk because they were going to do sleds and I shouldn't put that pressure on my leg until I get my PT assessment (trial #3).  The morning workout was switched up a bit from the usual we did things that we hadn't done before and I was really feeling pressure on my leg.  I was trying to balance my thoughts between still pushing through the uncomfortableness but also thinking that I wanted to save my leg for the 7 miles on Saturday.  I was defeated that I didn't push myself 100% through the workout because I had high hopes that PT would recommend stretching better/harder and still be able to accomplish the 7 miles.  Well, I was wrong!  PT said that my IT band was cause of the pain and that there were knots that needed scraped out which meant that I should NOT run Saturday or next Monday because my legs should not have the pressure (trial #4).  My mind started getting the best of me after hearing what I could not do with the rest of my FWSW family. I was bummed, discouraged and just so frustrated that I allowed myself to be so confident in week 8 and then all of a sudden it seems to be ONE BIG DISSAPPOINTMENT! 

My attitude Saturday was not good.  I was frustrated that I couldn't accomplish 7 miles and keep the momentum with the rest of my "family".  I was mad at myself, thinking maybe I shouldn't have said anything about my leg and just keep moving and try and forget about the pain.  I didn't want to be in the pool.  I SO enjoyed having time with April, Tamika, and Kimberly and we did work hard.  These ladies totally helped bring happiness to my heart BUT I was still envious of that harsh feeling of tiredness, sweat, and aches when I am done with a run (trial #5).  (Never thought I would EVER say that)  Although running doesn't seem to come naturally to me and I am ALWAYS anxious beforehand, I do LOVE the accomplished feeling that I get when I am done.  And, I totally think it helps with the scale on Monday!                                I am just now realizing that I am starting to type a novel so, to close this up....

I know in my heart that these 5 "trials" are SO minor, not life threatening, and in the scope of life itself and others who are badly hurt are really no big deal.  But, when I look at my FWSW journey, these are the things that I can easily see my "old self" wanting to creep back in. I am doing the stretching that PT is suggesting.  I am trying to be mindful of higher protein and lower carbs when eating.  I am trying to workout other parts of my body then just my legs. But, in my mind I start to feel like I am by myself and the excitement, push, and encouragement that I would get from everyone else starts to get cloudy.  I don't want these thoughts!  I am praying that God will use week 8 as my reminder to put full confidence in HIM.  Because obviously, my faith is being tested and I need to choose joy because these hurdles could be SO MUCH WORSE.  These hurdles are part of producing perseverance.  Who knows what the scale will say tomorrow - I may or may not hit the 4 pounds that I had imagined for week 9 but what I do know is that I cant let my mind get the best of me.  I MUST persevere and "trust the process".

My life would not be the same without Gods word, His promises, and the people He had placed in my life. 

5/11/17

It's Thursday and I am SO sore!  My legs, arms and core are getting worked and although I am uncomfortable, I am so happy to feel my workouts!   I decided to participate in extra credit this week, which is an additional 25 minutes of workout before our full morning session.  I was a little timid about it because my thought was to save all my energy for the full workout and be able to give my 100%, but then I remembered all the encouragement that the trainers talk about on pushing yourself to the next level.  And.... being half way to the end of Season 10 is kinda scary - I want to make sure I embrace every opportunity that Rick and Tina provide.  I will say extra credit did work my body over.  I really like that we were using so many different muscles in our body.  I thought sleds were hard but then on "zoo day" I was not only embarrassed that I was so slow, but also just very uncomfortable because I could hardly do some of the "creatures/animals".  My upper body strength is totally lacking and when my legs get tired I can hardly get them to move. Even though I hated being out in the middle with everyone waiting and watching, afterward I was completely impressed with Ricks approach of being patient and pushing me to try and finish strong.  The crazy thing is, after being humbled and pushed in extra credit, I didn't feel defeated.  I felt ready to tackle CeCe's workout.

Right now, it is very difficult to do Triceps on the bleachers, my positioning is off, and my strength is minimal.  Push ups on the bleachers are difficult as well.  Rick took a moment to show me the correct form which was very helpful but still so hard, I would much rather do them on a flat surface.  I am still trying to tackle Planks,  I can do them and I love that it is working my core but my body gets so tired and shaky that they can be hard to finish out.  Wall sits continue to be a challenge.  My upper legs get so tight and start to really hurt and YES, I know that it is supposed to hurt.  I am completely impressed at how others can do a wall sit like no big deal....I am determined to get there.  CeCe is right that your mind is what holds you back and my goal is to get in the zone and focus on something other than being uncomfortable.  Stairs continue to scare me because I know that doing only 4 will get me completely breathless and slow everyone down behind me.  I love Tina's enthusiasm but these are killer and I honestly don't know if I will ever be a party train lover.  Soooooooooooo, this is where I am at in some of the workouts.  And, I am reminded with two people's voices in my head:

CeCe: "If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you.  If it was easy, everybody would be doing it."

Rick: "Trust the process."

 

5/7/17

This 6th week went by SO FAST!  I was VERY discouraged by my 1.2 loss on Monday but quickly recovered my frustration with remembering what the past couple weeks taught me. Think on "what is true" and "be present in the here and now".  While I hadn't changed my eating habits and I knew that I was getting stronger, the scale delivered bad news that totally tested my "mind struggles".  I know that I am losing inches and creating stronger muscle and I AM proud of it.  I am beyond grateful for the challenge at our morning workouts.  The push and intensity is what a bootcamp should be and I want to give all that I can. 

Wednesday evening walk/run had my heart bursting with love and gratefulness.  First, we could do the walk/run outdoors.  I love being able to take in fresh air and I know the different scenery helps push me further physically.  Second, my sweet friend, Amanda, (who I don't see too often) surprised me to come and show support.  She really did help encourage me to complete each 4 minute jog without stopping.  That was a small victory for me and I am grateful that while my pace is very slow, and Amanda's legs are long smile, that she kept with me and cheered me on.  Finally, having my Dad and sister take time to share their support by doing the full walk/run (without stopping) meant the world to me!!!  I was so proud to have them experience a part of my weekly training.  My family are my prayer warriors and believe so much in me.  So, having them present,  helped my mind to be clear of anxiety and negative thoughts and to push through each jog interval.  Neither my dad or sister work out consistently so watching them complete the full walk/run not only surprised me but I knew they pushed themselves so they could understand what my FWSW journey is all about. God always knows just what we need and this past Wednesday evening was one of those moments that proved how HE continues to hold my hand each step of the way.

I am looking forward to week 7 and hitting our halfway mark of this program.  My prayer is that my heart and head will be fully in sync to make it the BEST week.  Who knows how nice the scale will read tomorrow night but a quote I recently was challenged with is this....."It takes courage not to be discouraged." So, regardless of the # loss, I choose not to be discouraged but to continue to push in the hardest way, to thank God for each small victory, and to finish FWSW proud and with no regrets.

 

4/28/17

We are 1/3 of our way into this season and I am feeling and seeing progress.  It is so rewarding to physically feel good (and sore) after working so hard during morning workouts, running, challenges, and second workouts.  I never knew I could sweat so much...thank goodness this isn't a beauty contest because I look like a drowned rat EVERY time I workout.  While I had hoped that week 5 would be better than week 4 mentally, I struggled even more.  I wrestled with too many thoughts and emotions and still am trying to sort things out.  My mind struggles with thinking on "what is true" and being present in the "here and now".  What is true: I get up at 4:45 every morning, get to gym early to walk then workout hard, put in a 8 hour work day, get a second workout in at night and do my best to get to bed early enough to start back all over the next day.  I put my 100% in at workouts, I am disciplined to schedule my day with nutrition and good rest.  I am seeing results with a 17 pound weight loss and more physical energy overall. While this may all be true and, to me, seem like such a positive change and a lot to plan for each day, my mind starts to let anxiety set in.  I allow situations or experiences to dictate what I do not even know to be true.....like, if todays workout was tough, then tomorrow there is no way I will make it through....if I can't do this plank long enough, I am a failure.....if I feel nauseous, the trainers will think I am a baby.....if I don't do the full 3 minute run, I am not working hard enough.....AND, don't get too excited about your personal progress because other people are stronger than you.  So, those are some of the candid thoughts that I know to be UNTRUE and unfair to myself!  As for the Here and Now....it is small victories that I know I must hold tight to in order to overcome anxious thoughts.  I am counting my 5 pound loss for three weeks straight as a victory, I was complimented by a trainer on my form and progress, I was able to get a second workout in, I chose to eat healthy when others around me were not, I did the stair climber challenge 10 minutes faster than the first time, my jogging is starting to last longer, etc...  I am realizing that these small victories are what this FWSW process is all about. 

 

4/23/17

This 4th week seemed a little odd from the weeks prior.  Although, I did give my 100% in morning workouts and still felt the "good" muscle soreness after, I don't think that the trainers were happy with our group so that made it hard to be confident in my ability.  It made me wonder if my mind was working harder than my body.  I was tired this week even though I kept a strict sleeping schedule and my food intake didn't change.  Me finding the balance between listening to my body and "pushing harder" is what I am trying to figure out.  It is evident that I am already pushing myself but I am not sure if it is enough.  So, I am praying that God gives me extra strength today for the 5k and for week 5.  I don't want this odd week to be a stumbling block for the victory at the end. 

Isaiah 40:31...but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

 

4/18/17

My weigh in last night read a 5 pound loss.  I was so surprised by that number!  I knew I had worked hard and ate properly but I just assumed it would be lower.  I am beyond thrilled with the thought of losing 15 pounds in 3 weeks.  It proved to me that pushing myself and being consistent on my food plan will pay off.  I understand next Monday could read less than 5 but I am going to try will all my might to get a higher loss than 5.  I can already tell after todays workout that the level of intensity will be increasing so, I am a little nervous and intimidated but I am in this 100% and want to keep getting strengthend so that I can continue to push myself.  A BIG SHOUT OUT to my family, all my sweet friends, and coworkers who cheer me on each day and listen to what my workout highs and lows are.  My heart is bursting with their love and kindness!

 

4/16/17

I am closing the 3rd week out of this journey with a thankful heart.  I was shown so much support by my family and friends this week.  God outdid himself when He placed me in my family and blessed me with so many special friends!  With this week being my birthday, I was a bit nervous to know how I would handle the celebrations.  I love parties and think that every moment of a celebration should be the very best so I had a bit of a hesistant heart when my special day was approaching because I knew there would not be the typical sweets and endless indulgences.   My awesome coworkers surprised with a nutritious lunch that they approved with Coach Ashley.  My dear friend Robin even took pictures of the nutrition labels just so that I could record my intake properly....now that is what I call S U P P O R T!  My coworkers cheerleading and vote of confidence in me is so encouraging!  I received a lovely bracelet that is purple (for my team color) and gold with a "you got this" quote from my friend Amy who is continues to be a sweet support.  My longtime friend Janielle, hosted a super cute celebration dinner for me.  The menu was so yummy and ALL nutritious.  My girlfriends enjoyed the dinner just as much as me and we spent our evening in the hottub under the stars....the weather and company was perfection!  This birthday was a great one and I feel blessed.  Turning 29 again just gets better and better!wink

Easter Sunday I hosted my family for lunch.  While not everything on the menu I could eat,  I found it easy to not be tempted and felt just as satisfied without the typical "wants".  My family knows that I am being mindful and they want me to succeed so there wasn't any talk on what "Kim couldnt eat", it was all about encouragement and discussion on the changes that FWSW has already made in my every day food decisions.  My parents are proud of my changes, my courage, and my discipline to create a better life for myself.  It's amazing how when I type this blog and reflect on things, I am overwhlemed with how God continue to show himself holding my hand each step of the way.  Tomorrow is MONDAY....which means another weigh in.  I don't know if it will be a good or bad loss but what I do know to be true is I worked hard this week, I ate well, my nutritionist has been happy with my food plan, I started to do 2nd workouts and I attempted jogging so, regardless of what that scale reads, I am going to be proud that this week is behind me and week 4 is going to be the best yet!

 

4/13/17

Pool day is always a tough workout for me because I feel like I am trying to stay afloat no matter what the exercise.  I hate being so slow and feeling like I am getting our team behind.  Josh and Mari had us really working hard.  I admire their enthusiasm and their confidence in us, they give the perfect amount of "push" and encouragement. 

 

4/11/17

Today's workout was full of mixed emotions.  I had no idea when I arrived in the morning what was about to happen...we were introduced to sled and stairs.  After I pushed my first sled, my heart was pounding so hard that I thought it was going to come out of my body.  I felt nauseous but was trying to talk myself out of it.  I didn't want to puke and thought I could overcome the feeling.  A couple more sleds into it and then my team rushed to the next circuit of stairs.  My body kept telling me to slow down but I didn't want to fail or get behind, so I just kept ignoring it until Tina pulled to the side and asked if I was ok.  The moment I started to talk I was overwhelmed with emotion, feeling sick, and very shaky.  I had never had this feeling before.  I was able to walk off the shakiness and some of the nausea that my body had and thankfully, Kaitlyn was kind to listen, encourage, and console.  I finished the last 5 minutes of the workout that everyone else had been doing and tried my hardest to hold in the tears.  Tina chatted with me about changing up my food in the morning before workouts as well as giving me a pep talk.  It's hard to remember anything she said because I was fighting back tears.  I felt like a failure and my mind was getting the best of me.  I stood trying to calm myself down while Lori gave encouraging words but all my mind was saying was "you didn't make it through" - "you should have eaten differently" -" this is horrible, are you sure you can do this" - "how embarrassing to walk off and not be able to complete the first workout of week 3."  All these thoughts rushed around in my mind over and over.  Once I was able to stabilize my thoughts, I texted my Mom, sister, and dear friend/coach Ashley letting them know what I had just experienced.  Their responses were, as always, helpful, encouraging, and inspiring but I still was feeling like a completed failure and full of embarrassment.  It wasn't until I got to work and was "counseled" by my most amazing and supportive coworkers that a light went on inside my head that brought me back to my first weigh in and how I felt....it was a feeling I never will forget (and still get a bit of a stomach ache just thinking about it).  It was overwhelming, scary, humbling, and I really wanted to just leave, but.....I STAYED.  And, here I am today thinking about my horrible morning where my thoughts were getting the best of me, but again.....I STAYED...and finished the workout.  This reminder is powerful to me because it is so hard to be vulnerable and to "fail" but my reaction overruled those feelings and I see my strength and this mornings hurdle is NOT going to get the best of me.  I am in this!  I want to make Rick and Tina proud, I want to make Team Purple proud, I want to make Coach Ashley proud, and more than anything I want this for myself.  If God allowed me to be a part of this program, He will see me through even when my self-centered thoughts try to creep in.

 

 4/6/17

Pool day is a really hard workout for me. I feel like being short in height, that the water resistance is extra hard and is triple the workout. I feel myself pushing through and I am thankful for my teammates encouragement and patience.   My legs and arms feel sore but a GOOD sore.  The energy of the trainers is so awesome and definitely makes me want to work harder.   I love that they push and believe in each of us.  As I think toward the weeks to come I can only imagine how much tougher the workouts will get but I am ready to keep at it.  Signing off todays workout with a sore body and a grateful and encouraged heart!

 

4/3/17

The scale tonight read 5 pounds less than last week. I am proud of that number and am proud to be a part of FWSW family!

 

4/2/17

As I anticipate my first weigh in this week, I can't help but be grateful for what week 1 of bootcamp gave me......my energy level, physically, was the most obvious and I attribute most of that to getting ample amounts of sleep at night. wink   I feel empowered each morning when I wake up before 5 to "hit it hard, because today starts the rest of your life."  Mentally and Spiritually I am energized to look at each day as an opportunity to better myself for what matters most in life.  I want that scale to make me proud of the hard work that I did but I will also hold tight to how 1 week in and I am feeling so good, so happy, so positive, so strengthened, and so blessed! Bring on the 14 more weeks!!!!!!!!!!cool

 

3/27/17

Tonight is a night I will never forget. The moment I had to weigh myself in front of so many people was so horrible. It took everything in me not to just walk right out of the room once I got off the scale. I got back to my seat and had to keep telling myself..."its ok, this is where change begins, its ok, hold it together, its ok, Gods got you, its ok, you can do this" I just wanted to break down and cry. This is not going to be easy...but I want this so bad and I will fight for it!

 

 

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Comments

  • Kimberly,
    We truly enjoy reading your heartfelt blog! You are REAL and we love you put your feelings and emotions into all you do.
    You can see how much you want to push forward and it shows in how hard you are working. Your level of intensity has doubled since you started FWSW. You are such joy in our program and a blessing.

    We love working with people like you who truly appreciate the gift and want to change their life.

    We know you are disappointed about not being able to run the 7 miles Saturday, however safety first so we can get you back with us sooner. The pool workouts will keep your endurance high and you will be right back with us. I love your Dad came out with you Wednesday, what a memory you two are making. We are hopeful we will get you back soon, BUT know you are in great hands in the pool and will stay on track!

    Week 9 begins Monday!! WOOOO HOOOO time is going by way too fast can we slow it down??

    Week 9 Let's do this!!
    Blessings,
    Tina and Rick
    FWSW

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  • Guest (Ashley)

    So proud of you, Miss! 6 miles done today before most people are out of bed. Now how AWESOME is that? I have to share it made my heart smile BIG when you told me about Heather's Mom. I won't lie that I had to fight back the tears as we ran back by the cemetery on the second half of the run. What a blessing and sweet motivation to keep going each time we pass by. I hope you are enjoying blogging as much as the rest of us enjoy reading it. You inspire me!

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  • Kim--you inspire me! I feel the same way about all the exercises but keep in my mind how great I feel after! I wanted to do extra credit but were told to save my knees--I am there in spirit as I warm my body up by walking. You are doing great!????

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  • Kim--Keep up the good work! I see such hard work and determination in you--you inspire me! Let's have a great week--Joy

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  • Hey Lady!!! You're doing excellent!!! Keep up the good work girlie!!!!

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  • Kimberly-
    We are proud of you! You have come SO far in 6 weeks! You can see you smiling and talking more! Not to mention your are getting stronger with your workouts. I LOVE you like to do the Party Trains!! I actually think you are enjoying hehehe!

    I loved your family showed up this past Wednesday to support you! Truly, a God's blessing to have your family supporting you. You are right, GOD ALWAYS KNOWS what we need. God's knows your heart and mind and is with you in this journey. He will ALWAYS give you strength. Lean on GOD when you feel anxious or think you can't because GOD NEVER FAILS:)

    Yep, almost the half way point!! TIME is ticking by so fast): Week 7 here we come!

    Let's do this!

    Blessings,

    Tina and Rick
    FWSW

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  • Kim I wanted to stop in and tell you that you are doing amazing! I share your struggles with the emotional side of this . I too have that mean voice that says ," You aren't, you can't and others are better"Know we are going to come out as way better people on the other side. I believe that God puts these struggles in our path so that we can help others through , there is always a reason . You are a strong woman you got this girl?#season10warriorwomen

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  • You are doing amazing!! I look forward to seeing your progress every week! Keep up the great work!!

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  • Guest (Heather Eddy)

    Sis! There was never an ounce of doubt that you were determined, committed, tough, and super strong. However. I did not know that you get up at 4:45 every morning?!!! You deserve an Oprah Winfrey standing ovation for that alone! Holy moly. You inspire me to do better in all aspects of life! You've got what it takes to excel in this journey. And you're proving it!!! So proud of you and all that you've accomplished to this point. I'm guessing you feel like you're in the thick of the journey now. Continue to push through. You're stronger in mind and body than you even realize. You're doing amazing things!!! Love you lots.

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  • We are so proud of you. A nice blog , giving us some insight into your thought process. I believe everyone questions themselves , did I do as well as I could have? Right now its our jobs to take you to new levels that you didn't know you could achieve. Even the most elite athletes hire trainers to take them to that next level that they couldn't achieve on their own. The proof is in your numbers, you doing great. This ultimately is a weight loss competition and your killing it. Trust the process , enjoy the journey , learn and live your new healthy fit lifestyle. Thanks Rick and Tina

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